Introducing Mikaela Kate: Seamstress and Doll Maker!

Im so honored to be written about. thank you Grey Dove from Goats to Soaps

From Goats To Soaps

heirloom dollsToday we wanted to tell you about another talented crafter.  Mikaela Kate has been hand-stitching for years.  Not only does she sew practical items from which she earns her living but she also enjoys expressing her love and creativity in the crafting of beautiful dolls.  Her dolls are hand sewn, often made from fabric with some special association for the person for whom the doll is crafted.

mistress of the compost Once Mikaela has worked her magic an heirloom quality hand-made doll has been born, made of memories and ready to gather and hold many more.

This is how Mikaela describes how her hand-sewing journey began:irish gardener

“I began sewing  cotton menstrual pads while my oldest sat next to me playing.  A conscious act,  a symbol of giving my child MY presence.  I refused to spend time on the phone or on a computer when they were formulating their own thoughts.  …  As a mother…

View original post 883 more words

Advertisements
Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

livin on the edge of a cliff

6937832304_cf5fcc1fb1_kAs days go by and the survivals of winter shape and create my days, I don’t have the time for a daily blog.  This winter is being bipolar.  Im for once thankful for spring in winter, which to me feels pretty selfish, to be rooting for global warming rather than how nature intends.  It shows me that i have fallen back into the world of making money matter more than setting the heart free.   Miracles would have had to be in major production for me otherwise, I am at the end of my days of self inflicted poverty.  I can no longer live with such a deep commitment to the earth, for my life is a mess and I find myself questioning everything.

I find myself narrating through the days considering I live my life as if there is no such thing as  time.   I fill  it with whatever it is I do have on my hands,  working towards changing how my life has gone and becoming someone new.  Really  new.  Changed.  Im BEING the change, and its difficult, misunderstood and truly sovereign

I have just enough savings to continue dreaming of an RV, but the looking has completely come to a halt.  I knew that by asking for money from  humanity (usually I ask of The Universe), I would have to face the part of me that has lost faith.  It meant that ide have to face MY OWN HUMANITY directly.  I am ready and at attention and feeling a bit stuck.

I notice that I have trained my thoughts to always come out positive in the long run, my writing being a fantastic study tool.  I love this about me, AND today, I think I may do it a little differently and just come out with my bitch session. hahaha. release is in order!

Im  knackered (a term my friend Rhissanna  introduced to me), meaning, the exhaustion one feels , like a horse feels, going to the slaughter house.  Spiritually speaking, this is a good sign.  Im at the end of a long drawn out story that wasn’t going to turn out as a dream come true until I focused on my own commitment to being a member of this society I so long to be free of.

its been difficult, but only because I have courage to live on the edge of a cliff, the scene spectacular but the not knowing deceptive.

I will succeed in this dream I am so dedicated to and I will stay myself. dammit.  I will not betray my kindheartedness, I will dance in my  gullible simpleton ways proudly and I will continue to role model my incredible capacity to stay ME and stay upful when im up and real when im down.

I really don’t know how I will move forward and find solutions in this chaos, but I do know that all these years of practicing being here now has given me strength and faith and that is all that matters.

222380_1052944156511_6471_n

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

storytelling at its finest

18353_483325725622_4111316_n

“January 8-15: A time of sorting and deciding, refining and adjusting. Much has been activated, much has been deactivated, and much is in the process of gathering the right ingredients. This is a time to get help, ask for support and show up in your commitment to what you said you wanted active in your life. Make adjustments and refinements as needed.

If you have periods of questioning, doubt, lethargy, confusion or chaos, try and rebalance with practices that will move you into more inspiration, beauty and a higher centered frequency. Try not to be affected by stories of violence and bad behavior. These are simply activations in others that are expressing themselves negatively out in the world. If you can remain focused and connected to the light, others will follow.”
~~Lena Stevens ~~The Power Path ~~

The quote above just hits it on the nose for me today…. yesterday I was my own knight in shining armor by NOT allowing doubt and judgement to cloud my focus… I breathed through it and was even productive, in a lethargic kind of way… I wrote the following  in the midst of some fine tuning soul movement.

(anything in parenthesis is how I am dialoguing with yesterday, TODAY ❤ !!!)

The last few years have been a bit stuck for me.  It has taken me a while to figure it out, being a water woman, I rarely find myself stuck anywhere. ( Now, wait a minute?  whos stuck? and who says Im stuck!!!!!!! Things falling apart is not stuck, its movement. )

I have been blessed with a  life full of action and movement.   Lately,  Ive come face to face with a rock and a hard place.  Im not use to it….. so, when this kind of discomfort comes to visit, what have I learned to do?  Stitch, breath and meditate on the fire. Slow every thing down and deny THINKING.

I have trained myself to keep the trouble contained.  don’t talk about it much.  By talking about trouble, it seems to  become real to the listener (where as for me, it is just a passing bump in the road) and from there, easily taken and embellished in a direction never meant for me….oh! the storys we tell !!!!  and for so many generations!  its time we tell some new ones, ones with happy endings and real live team work.

there is something to the myths and the storytelling in our continuum… They have been told around the hearth so that we can learn to think for ourselves, not dive right back into the dark caverns of failure over and over.   As a woman, Superman or the White Knight is always good to have around but when it comes to independence, they are sure proof that without the super hero’s existence INSIDE me,  I am surely  setting myself up for failure or dependency.  same path either way.

I mean, The White Knight is sacred… I want him in my life.  I want him to encourage me to grow some wings and be the sacred Goddes of Truth and Gorgeousness.  I want him to not only make room for me at the Round Table, but also honor my position as visionary. It is a very simple thing to adore.  This I know.   I never wanted to be rescued from my very Self… Ever.

These stories are so traped in our consciousness. From my perspective it is a brilliant idea to break that chain of inequality. and so I tried… What a fool! a rebel! a crazywoman! (What a Joy bringer, a praise singer!  a truthteller!)  As many  of us practice this break, this collapse, this freedom,  we will be able to see the world differently and from this, the most positive of changes will show up in ways we never imagined before.  By facing the past with a new perspective… the future brings new possibilities, old habits die.

241916_10151847197260623_1421441359_o

I think of my  Daddy often.  My Knight in Shining Amour.  Pooch. The man grew up barefoot in a tiny town made up of 1/2 natives and 1/2 lumberjacks.  A man raised to be “The Man”, a man who worked as hard as he laughed and adored his girls but wasn’t very nice to his wife.   He taught me that men do the hard work, women stay barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen and there’s no crossing the two. He taught me to appreciate the masculine and the gentleman. He also taught me that it is taboo for a lady to fix a car or to sail a boat or to be successful financially in this world….  I adored my dad and believed him.

then I grew up

Ive changed a lot, androgeny practiced into my being. but underneath what I have become is still someone who has no idea how a car runs or wont touch a chainsaw…..you know, a daddies girl.

So, today I will check the back trunk about that spare tire, put some oil in the car and watch as miracles dance me to  more real balanced interactions in the world. thank you Dana, my gentleman, for learning by my side,  that indepenece is gorgeous on me and car  grease is sexy

I think this day calls for a dress….

(Remember, parenthesis means that everything has changed since writing last and 3rd day! everything has changed….. my love, Dana showed up and fixed the tire, showed me how the brakes are needing to be replaced, kissed and hugged me, loving me just the way I am…. don’t mind being a girlie girl today.  thanks D, your uplifting is revolutionary for me.) end of parenthesis, end of story. beginning of new one. smileyface.

 

 

Posted in From mother to crone, hand stitching, making injustice just, Simple Living, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

New Beginnings, a process

A few friends have encouraged me to blog while I go through this transition from Mother to Crone, from the land to a home on wheels, from me to more me.  So I begin today and hope that I find that relieving and comforting time in writing down my process.  Thanks for coming in by the hearth and having tea.  Im interested in your process too ❤

DSCN3391 1909604_10654125173_69_n 1557231_10152314143651932_2796407711923850296_o 10626878_10152586080120519_1916834010872872073_n

This house is calling for me to leave…. and still I am here and it seems I just may be here a little while.  The thought of parking an RV outside and slowly, surely begin  moving out into it and  watch as my 3 dogs (2 very old doggers), Raven and I  get use to our new home, brings a sense of movement.  This is all in the hope that the bank doesn’t pull any quick maneuvers to force me to leave sooner.  If that’s the case, I welcome a caretaking position on someones homestead nearby.

Yesterday, while maneuvering through this poor forbidden house, I had a moment of seeing the future? of feeling the change? standing by my little RV’s stove (cooking omelets and tea), the kids laying around RIGHT THERE (not just my kids either). the dogs somewhere close and safe…. everything in place to cook, to clean, to enjoy.  Water running from the sink and a sense of order…. I love the image of a million people on top of and in an old bus with chickens and goats happy on a dirt road…now this  is also my idea of order.

I tried to stop myself from longing for awhile…. screw that.  Im ready for a new home and a real sense of money flowing in my life that comes from ME, MY LIFESTYLE.  FLOW LIKE WATER.  I work hard being me. I love to work hard, always have….. Its true, im not a realist, don’t really like doing “reality checks”….. and sometimes I do for order is a good thing.  Mostly I like to focus on what makes life feel really good today and what I can do in order for it to keep going in that direction… it usually involves being me.  hehe

This morning in my reading, I wrote down this quote from The Jesus Book by Durga Holzhauser and Agni Eikermann

“How the Essenes Serve:  We learn to create unity out of duality, and in this blending we are able to heal according to Gods word”

Bring it ❤

Graceful Transitions

Posted in From mother to crone, making injustice just, minimalist, motherhood, RV living, Simple Living, tribal love, Truth | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

A world without money

The truth is, Ive been living with out money.  For a long time
5189_221020355622_1079685_n

I was able to hide behind being a wife in an alternative family lifestyle…. but all along, I knew,  my husband knew, that I preferred to live with less.  it all happened to me at a young age, African tribal culture and Zimbabwe especially called to me. an African elder woman sang in me sometimes, if I let her, or if I let myself, I should say… my children were raised sheltered from the western culture until they were ready and strong enough to  dive in and do what they are doing  with it.  i thought i had it all figured out…..

idealism appeals to me.  not only appeals to me but takes hold of me and makes me dream wild dreams that I cant help but try and walk the talk.  i truly thought that by giving up money, I would suddenly be surrounded by village people who lived tribal lives…. wow, was i in the dark.  privileged white girl.

I was raised to be a privileged white girl…. the fool has lived and laughed and after the shame runs its course…. oh well. what to do? I keep spiraling towards me…

i did create my own form of village mentality in our home life…. i took on the traditional role as Mother and wife…i dove into a music that was deeply rooted in ancient culture.  My kids were raised as if they lived in a village.   i supported my husband in his passion…. music.  and if seemed to fit perfectly with my passion… tribe… but it didnt.  i didnt find the equality of love or the balance of the he and the she.  i am so very simple in my seeing… i truly believed we could make our polarity work.  I  took his last name out of a longing for real longevity in relationship.

For now, please don’t call me by any name,Thank you, just call me gorgeous.

after 25 years of looking back… i now know…. i wasn’t with the father of my children for music, or for tribe.  I was loyal and deeply devoted to him because he gave me my two brilliant children.  If ever i were to say i had a guru outside of myself, i would say it was in these two…,my children. Together with them, we truly walk into a new paradigm…holding hands, even laughing most the time… or at least making funny noises.
18353_392648285622_209225_n

Walking down the aisle was never in my thoughts… so i didn’t… Peter turned around while doing taxes after our 7th year with children?  i don’t know and don’t care what the rules were.  we celebrated right there and then… we did that a lot… it kept us together for 18 years and we did do some wild living with Miracles.

I rubber band to how it felt as a young woman, now at mid life…. If ever i look back and see that i have had a loving free relationship with a man for many years… then i will call myself married… not one moment before.

so, back to the whole money thing, which actually, this whole story is a build up to.

i worked for 3 hours today at the local store, helping put in a garden.  I offered it for free, but i think folks are starting to get me now…. she paid me $30.  Thirty dollars!  i did what lots of folks do with thirty dollars.. i bought cream for tea in the morning, dog food and then went down to my local pub and had a beer and a salad… sat there in heaven playing with kids and laughing at the audacity i have at being so rich for a moment. and im goin back for more tomorrow.  money… its so very NOT simple or fair… but having a few bucks slipping through my fingers feels real good these days.

I went about 2 weeks without any money coming in.. just a little while ago. In fact that is what has caused me to be courageous enough to write down my story. I spent a lot of that time with my son, Raven. As a team, we would literally go out with out gas, money or food and would return home with just enough…. or some evenings full to the brim because of the friendships we are so blessed to participate in. a few of my friends (who also live lives with very little money) make it a regular thing to give a 20 dollar bill to whoever needs it …. actions come and go spontaneously… living freely means living on an edge and really having to practice that muscle called trust. Radical trust.

Money comes into my life.  The man I built our Family Trade with  gives me money. funny, the thing i never demanded or wanted from him…. i lived frugally giving us room to live as authentically as we did… and the first thing he did when he left, was start giving me money….Go figure.   i’ll take it.  sometimes paying someone off is easier than practicing unconditional love… in the short run. (yes, i still carrying grievances but only for a short while longer, for I do know that feeling victimized by anyone only keeps prescribing being victimized… someday One just has to stop the battle.

in fact, im quite delighted at how life is treating me. I have no qualms about receiving. If you have a gift for me, i will receive it graciously.  but if you want to pay me for my services, the way the world does…. you gotta be outa your mind.  Ide rather give it away for free.  and i will not let you convince me that we need to charge more to respect our worth… oh my… that’s a whole nother story.

listen up, to respect our worth is to make the world a free place.  everything free.  that means EVERYBODY eats not just the select few.

My services are very motherly,
In my hands, your garden is Beauty.

In my hands, your children are safe and happy. young people are just pure fun for me and you get a moment to breath. in fact, give them to me and leave us be please…. we just want to have fun and learn about love and life while laughing…   i don’t want no machines, so don’t tell me to get a sewing machine ( living with cars, computers and tvs has been enough for me!!!) but i will hand stitch you something so beautiful, you’ll want another.  i will listen to you in such a way that  YOU figure out what needs to happen next.  I will be a reflection for you.. for i comfort the disturbed and disturb the comfortable… its my job.
IMG_6656

See, i leave room in my life to be your neighbor, your mother, your lover (tho im very picky), your friend.  Its true.  ide rather live in poverty than be available to the world of money, spending it all my on gas and time going somewhere else to make somebody else’s dream come true… and if you look at what I can do for you, most will only want to pay me the acceptable $10. an hour….. please. don’t insult me. especially when you make $20. an hour or more (or worse, your just rich and ungenerous).  But if i offer to do your dishes, let me do them.  i know you have something for me too… it just works that way.

and better yet, look in, listen and see…absorb without reply. the way im livin is the new heaven… if we all do it… oh my what would the world be like?  i ask you… and i invite you.  you will bring your own variety of skills to the table… What you do and what i do, are of equal value and there is no question about that…. this is the ideal world i dream of…the real world I live.  cuz even if ive had to do it quite isolated…. ive been building strength…

so, if you see me tomorrow and you wonder… damn who is that woman and why is she always so happy… come walk with me awhile. we’ll stride by the freebox and get a new piece of clothing we always wanted… or we’ll run in to my sweet lover whos returning my car full of gas, the oil checked and ready for an adventure…..we’ll most definitely stop to talk to EVERY kid on the block and have you noticed all the grasshoppers?   i don’t need much but what i do have… im finding.. is enough.

Aside | Posted on by | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Love is all you need By Quianna Joy Swing a daughters perspective

IMG_8445 14251_552966164270_3094797_n

In my childhood, My mothers strong emotions and my desire for rebellion made it difficult to get along. It took a few years of being apart to realize how much she truly means to me. She has always been unable to fall asleep angry, which caused many long nights figuring our problems out. Her caring, loving personality has everything to do with how she grew up, her thoughts, who she is, and how she relates to me and everyone around her.

464657_10151806805560623_665177242_o

Mikaela Kate Hennessey grew up in Mill Valley, California. Being the middle child of three sisters and three brothers, she learned how to to share and take care of others. For the most part she lived in the old fire station with her mother and on the weekends she would stay on her father’s sailboat off the San Francisco Bay. When she was in her twenties she became a Doula ( someone who helps a new mother before and after her pregnancy, acting as a midwife and making the transition into motherhood as easy as possible for the new mother.) She lived in Portland, Oregon and stayed there until she followed my father to Santa Fe, New Mexico.

As she was growing up, she developed a keen sense for other’s emotions. For example, when her brothers and sisters would fight she would almost have to leave the room because she felt more than just her own emotions. Without knowing it, she could walk into a room and feel the emotions of other people. She may have not been able to map out who felt what, but she had a good sense of the surrounding emotions. Because of her empathic ability she would strive to make everyone around her joyful in order to feel true happiness.

Finding Mikaela would prove difficult if you did not know her, she does not have a phone and refuses to register her car or get a drivers license.There are only five places where you could find Mikaela; On her land, at my house, at her boyfriends RV, or walking along the arroyos in Cerrillos. Once you are a part of my mothers heart, you will never be lost. She cares for the sad and sad while  bringing joy and rest wherever she goes. Some call her the “voodoo mountain queen” and if you ask anyone who knows her they will tell you she is the good witch at the end of the old dirt road who will help you solve your problems and give you a place of rest. My Mother has been there for me through everything in my life. 192881_10152086402945623_929824806_o

When i ran away to Colorado, she called me every day to see that i was happy. When i moved back in with my Father she was there to comfort me when i was feeling bad. When i was sent to rehab she was there to pick me up. When my Father kicked me out she was there to bring me home. And now that i have my own place she is always there to feed me, clean for me, garden for me and be there for me, that is, whenever i can get her to come into Santa Fe. Mikaela has been through Hell and back again; Heaven won’t take her and Earth has no permanent place for her. This woman has so many life stories, that she could be the next great wise woman, the next Socrates. Though she is limited in resources, she is rich in character and colorful with personality. She always has nice things to say, even if she is talking negatively. Although she may not be here for very long, she will always be in my heart forever.

Posted in attatchment parenting, making injustice just, motherhood, Simple Living, tribal love, Truth | Tagged | 4 Comments

Conversation without eyes or mouths

Dear Friend who knew me before and now knows me again. You have come into my life when all my dreams are on the plank and Im deciding to NOT go down with the ship…. it doesn’t matter what my dream was, how powerful I believed. This sinking ship shows me that to dream is a bit precocious in this life…. but to be content with what is, is very very possible.

i just want you to know this…… that you have showed up at a time in this life when I AM throwing my hands up and saying very powerfully, fuck this! ….. I am being motivated to become unstuck. I was a deeply devoted family woman for 25 years and a revolutionary for real tribe….. (way too much for most) and now i find a new life…. alone, not like i want it, but how it seems to be. I have a lover who comes and goes as he pleases. When he is with me, I am treated with such dignity and kindness, I AM the goddess. When my lover leaves, I know its right for him to go. My children also come and go as they please for I have a knack for truly loving my peeps unconditionally….. but that does not mean i don’t open my heart to possibilities that there is such thing as daily tribe with a vision and that my contribution is so very valid….

I63665_10150346313935623_6515653_n I enjoy seeing your shining words and without apology, let you in on the fact that i am compost right now, hot with burning…. sometimes its too hot to find ways to express …. but i am proof that flowers grow better when Ive had my dip into the cauldron… so i’ll keep burnin up over here… getting rid of all i no longer need. fuck.

fuck is what the English farmers said when taking their middle finger and fucking the earth for the planting of seeds…. fuck is a word used right after you’ve thrown up your arms and given it up… given it up to a higher validity… it is the upheaval of the old and a new Heave Ho of the new…. I AM

and in this time, I invite you in… cuz in this, is the most beautiful solution I can find right now.

Posted in making injustice just, minimalist, Simple Living, tribal love, Truth | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment