This is my life letter to those of whom I have spent years, life times, trying to appease. Im so sorry many of you wont be reading this because you don’t even know who you are or what you do. It is a busy job blaming others. Passive aggressive behavior is a socially accepted form of abuse in our culture. It is a perfect vampire technique cut out particularly for the innocent. After years of subtly being torn from Self by these smiling, strategically thinking folks who talk us into submission with their many words and incredible willingness to manipulate through shame and blame, we the “naïve”, finally break down, finding ourselves crazymaked. The self esteem is tattered and the nervous system blows.
It has been a lifetime of confusion…always taking responsibility for MY part, always walking the extra mile and finding that place in me that is in service to you…. and finding myself over and over again, lonely to my self in the long run.
Now this form of behavior, “going crazy” is socially unacceptable and eventually kills hope when equality through compassion doesn’t show up. Being One who is part of the socially unacceptable crowd, I would like to say that after a life time of apologies for my emotional breakdowns, after the self esteem has been raped and pillaged, there is no longer a sorry for your lack of love or unwillingness to sit at the round table with me. I am no longer crazy (in fact I never was), maybe to you…but to me, I am responsible, loving person who has finally climbed out of the hell hole created for me so you can feel all powerful. I AM my own quiet force now. You know, Ive been building it all along, stone by stone. You no longer have a strangle hold. This may even piss you off further, but to me all I can do is GIVE THANKS for the new freedom I have created in me and for me. Im no longer in need of your services to make me strong. I GOT THIS MYSELF, Thank you very much.
In respect for the bigger healed picture and a desire to find the balance,